Telling anybody you're struggling with your mental health can be nerve-wracking, let alone the people you work for. I feel there's an expectation placed on us when we're in the workplace, we have tasks to complete, rules to follow, and a position to uphold. An expectation to dress and act professionally and opening up about having to contend with your mental health doesn't quite seem like it fits within those workplace boundaries.
I currently work two jobs, meaning I've navigated this situation twice. When I told my first employer I was struggling mentally, it was almost involuntary. I'd worked until I couldn't anymore and was advised by my Doctor to take sick leave for a month. The amount of time I was having to take away from work is what made me feel I had to be honest about the situation. We were incredibly short staffed and I felt awful having to take time off - which would have been amplified by being dishonest. Luckily, a lot of time passed before I went into my second job and I'd learned a lot by then. At this point, I was ready to be honest, with no guilt or shame attached.
Here's what I learned that empowered me to tell work I am mentally unwell, confidently.
I am not well
This is what we can forget when we decide/have to talk about being mentally ill. We are not well. If I was physically ill, would I feel bad telling the people I work for I can't come into work? No. This is because I know they've been physically ill before and can relate in some way to what I'm going through. It's easier for people to understand. If I had a broken leg and my Doctor told me I couldn't work for a month would I still feel the need to? No. Simply because I have a broken leg. I can't work with a broken leg, so why do I feel the need to work in silence with a "broken" mind? Because people can see a broken leg. You don't need to explain a broken leg or worry people might not understand. They can't see or fully understand what's going on inside, especially if you don't fully understand either.
Understand your situation as best as you can
To help you speak confidently about your mental health, you need to come to terms with and understand it. To do that, you can look at how it affects you, how it affects others, how it impacts you in the workplace directly, or how your place of work impacts it. Taking the time to reflect on what your mental health struggles mean to you can help you see these things clearer. You can listen to your doctor's explanation of what is wrong and use this to tell people concisely when trying to help them understand. Research what is wrong and what the symptoms of this can be. If you're put on medication for your mental health research this too to see what side effects can be and how this can impact you in work. The better you understand your situation the easier it will be to help others understand it.
Communicate in your preferred way
Talking about something so personal can be unsettling and make us uncomfortable so we have to find that comfort where we can. It may be easier for some of us to send an email than to have a conversation in person. It might be helpful to think about what you're going to say, so you have it prepared and you can make sure all of the relevant information is attached. Think about the following:
How does your mental health affect you?
At what point does your mental health start impacting your ability to work?
What are the side effects of your medication (if you're taking any)?
How can you be clear and concise to get your point across confidently?
What can your manager do to support you?
By thinking about these things, you'll likely be prepared to talk openly about your mental health, but you'll also be prepared to answer any questions your employer may have.
If you need time off, take it
Within reason, of course. Try not to feel guilty. Your place of work will keep working without you. If you need to take time, it's best to take that time when it's just a day or a week as opposed to working yourself to your limit and having to take a significant amount of time off work. Utilise this time as best as you can by simply taking care of yourself, including lots of self-care activities. See my recent blog post on self-care for some ideas.
If you choose to talk to work about your mental health, remembering the above things can help the process feel less awkward and uncomfortable and will hopefully help you feel more empowered and enable you to take your illness in your stride whatever the situation.
Thank you so much for being here. Please feel free to follow me on Instagram (@_thebword__) or get in touch via the contact form below.
Lots of love,
Tilly x
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30 am to 4 pm)
Website: www.rethink.org
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk
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