This evening I'll be answering the questions from the Mental Health Tag. I'm excited to share my experiences and advice with you and I aim to be as brutally honest (as always) throughout. I'll be talking about medication, therapy, crisis management, and more. Enjoy.
What is your mental health issue?
My mental health issue is Bipolar Type 2, Anxiety and traits of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Do you have medication and/or therapy?
I am currently taking medication to help treat my Bipolar. The medication I take includes:
- Duloxetine (an antidepressant) 90MG
- Aripiprazole (a mood stabiliser) 10MG
- Promethazine (this helps with my anxiety) 50MG twice a day.
I am also awaiting therapy after my consultant referred me recently.
What therapy/medication have you tried and have any worked for you?
Therapy: I have tried private counseling and this personally didn't work entirely for me but it helped me manage some symptoms at the time. I have also completed 20 sessions of CBASP therapy, which is like an intense form of CBT and goes right back to the beginning of your life. It identifies each traumatic experience as a 'stamp' that you may or may not still be carrying around with you.
I found CBASP therapy extremely helpful. It definitely worked for me and I have that to thank for how far I've come.
Medication: I have tried different types of antidepressants over the years, such as; Sertraline, Citalopram, and Fluoxetine, each being put right up to the max dose to no avail. Taking antidepressants alone to manage Bipolar wasn't helpful in any way and it made my symptoms much worse - however, my GP was convinced I wasn't Bipolar after asking me three simple questions. I was being treated for the incorrect illness and it showed.
Finally, after seeing a private psychiatrist and working with the Access and Crisis team I am finally on medication relevant to my illness and it's starting to work wonders. I am extremely pleased with the small cocktail of medication I have now as it's taken trials of different medications and doses to finally find what works for me.
How long have you had problems for?
I have had issues since the early years of high school (over ten years ago) and this is when I began self-harming. I think this was a cry for help at a young age - however, I hid my poor mental health very well and it went unnoticed to everybody around me up until around two years ago when I experienced my worst depressive episode to date. I was suicidal and it was an eye-opener to how much work I needed to do on myself to get better.
It took time, but I was eventually diagnosed last year in August, so for just over a year I have been working towards getting on the right medication and working with the right people to get better.
Do your family/friends know?
Yes. For the longest time, only a select few friends knew about the battle I was facing, but now I am so open about my mental health. My friends and family now know, and have been incredible but this wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight. I had to muster the strength to tell those closest to me for a number of reasons. I didn't want anybody to worry and I didn't want to upset anyone. I'm really lucky that my family and friends have embraced me for all that I am, for that, I'm very grateful. I can now talk to anybody about my mental health because I'm so used to talking about it and I'm at peace with what it is.
Does this affect your work and daily living?
I would say I am high functioning Bipolar, I work, I drive, I pay my bills, etc, however when I am experiencing a depressive episode this can seriously impact my work and daily living. I will stop getting out of bed, meaning I need time off work. I can't pick myself up and it takes quite a long time to come around from these episodes, ranging from weeks to months.
As far as work is concerned, I am very honest with my places of work and they are aware of my illness. This means I can have open conversations with them when I may need time off work or extra support. Altogether, I do really well at putting on a brave face and getting on with it, and in my line of work (care), I can really get involved because I'm invested in the care of others.
What makes you feel calm?
Any body of water. I don't know what it is about water that makes me feel so calm but being around it is always good for me. Also candles, fairy lights, fresh bedding, a hot shower and sketching whilst listening to music.
What do you do in crisis?
When experiencing crisis I will tidy my bedroom, get a hot shower, light my fairy lights and candles, and watch Netflix snuggled up in bed. This becomes my safe space and it allows me to feel what I need to feel (or not feel) without hurting myself or putting myself in danger.
If I'm so far gone that I cannot do this for myself I will seek support from my mum/my consultant or try to sleep it off.
What advice would you give to others suffering?
Please talk talk talk. Talk to somebody you can trust. I can't emphasize this enough but talking is everything. We have to be strong and open up to seek help. Seek professional help, too. As daunting as it is, it can open up many avenues of recovery for you. If you can't seek professional help yourself ask somebody to advocate for you. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself even at your lowest. Treat yourself how you would treat another in your position.
What makes you smile?
Writing my blog, my family, friends, boyfriend. I love the community I now have on Instagram and it makes me smile when any of you get in touch with me to show love or seek support. It's all I've ever wanted. I love to be creative so sketching, singing, and dancing make me smile, too.
Describe your mental health issue in 5 words.
Unpredictable, scary, difficult, unique, and new.
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