So I thought it would be really fun to do a Q&A with you guys this week - exploring how to have a healthy relationship whilst battling mental health conditions/illnesses. I asked my followers and some close friends to ask questions about my relationship and how Bipolar impacts it.
Without further ado, here is my first Q&A: Relationships vs Mental Health issues.
How long have you been in your relationship?
Over a year now. We met on Bumble (of all places) and the rest is history.
How did you tell your boyfriend that you were struggling with your mental health?
It's something that just came up naturally in conversation, luckily. We spoke about this, initially, over text as we'd met online and hadn't met each other in person yet. I told him I was being treated for depression and anxiety - at this point, I hadn't been diagnosed with Bipolar. He was very understanding and made me feel really at ease about it. I, stupidly, thought he wouldn't be interested anymore due to me struggling, but this wasn't the case at all. He's supported me every step of the way on my mental health journey.
How did your boyfriend and others react when you told them you are Bipolar?
Everybody has given me so much support since I was diagnosed. I think everybody knew I was dealing with Bipolar before I was diagnosed so when I told them it wasn't really a shock. I was met with understanding and support. My boyfriend is always calm and collected and it was like nothing had changed. At the time I told him he has the choice to leave, as it isn't what he or I had signed up for and we didn't know this was the case when we got together, but he's been by my side the whole time.
How does your boyfriend support you when you're having an up or a down day?
He often reminds me of things I tell him whilst I'm doing well, such as keeping things under review so I don't panic over situations I just monitor them. He stays his usual calm self when I'm up which almost makes him my anchor to keep me grounded. When I'm down he provides understanding and validation. There have been times at my lowest where he has struggled to understand my behaviour but he always tries, and that's what is super important.
His main way of supporting me is by communicating openly with me, allowing me to do the same. Communication is a really big thing in our relationship.
How can a partner, friend, or parent help someone with recurring suicidal tendencies?
All of the above can be there for that person consistently and build a level of trust for that person to be able to reach out to them for support. They need to listen, without judgment, validate, and believe what the person is saying to them. Build a crisis plan together so when urges occur the person involved has a safety plan to follow, such as putting on fairy lights and watching your favourite movie. One thing we have to remember is that we can't and shouldn't rely solely on the people around us to help us, without us helping ourselves too.
How do I know when I'm ready to be in a relationship?
I guess I can't tell you exactly how to know but the first thing is having enough love for yourself before you start giving it to somebody else. If you're doing all you can to improve yourself and make yourself better, then I think there's no reason for you to turn down a relationship, but you have to look after yourself. I think you'll naturally be drawn to people when you're ready and when you're feeling well in yourself.
How much of a role does Bipolar play in your relationship?
I would say it's played a large role in our relationship in the past when communication hasn't been at it's best. When I don't communicate, my behaviour can be misunderstood and this can cause tension or even arguments. It's really important that we discuss where we both are mentally, regularly so that we can be understanding of each other and our situations.
All in all, I'm very lucky to have somebody like my boyfriend in my life, and I'm so grateful for his support, along with my family and friends.
T hank you so much for being here. Please feel free to follow me on Instagram (@_thebword__) or get in touch via the contact form below. You can now also buy a mental health bracelet from my online shop to wear your mental health with pride.
Lots of love,
Tilly x
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30 am to 4 pm)
Website: www.rethink.org
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone:Â 116 123Â (free 24-hour helpline)
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk