Let's be real, the road to recovery is tough. It comes with its own ups and downs. When I initially thought of recovery, I thought it would be simple. A straight line from A to B. I thought it was the end of my struggles. Instead, what I have come to realise, is that it is a fresh chapter. The start of something new.
Recovering can be uncomfortable and comes with a lot of changes. It isn't always a straight forward road to take and it can be difficult to adjust to any changes you have made to help yourself moving forward. It can be tiring and sometimes you may want to stop trying. It can reopen wounds that you've tried hard to cover up.
This is what I have learned since the start of my recovery.
Take your medication
If taking medication is part of your road to recovery, then you must try to understand why this is and take your medication so long as it's the correct medication for you. In the past, I was given anti-depressants alone (which can exacerbate symptoms of Bipolar) which made me worse and came with a whole heap of negative side effects, such as numbness, a constantly heavy and foggy head, more frequent urges to self-harm and suicidal thoughts etc. I am now on anti-depressants, a mood stabiliser and medication for my anxiety. Finding the right medication can be a trial in itself and it's one you have to work through with your doctor, so being really honest is imperative.
Once you're on the correct medication and dose you must continue to work with your doctor to work towards coming off this medication when the time is right. I have been really honest with my consultant when it comes to my medication, as this means she can alter the dose or change the medication if needs be. She also reassured me that I wouldn't be on this medication for life, and could possibly be off the medication within a year. I often have urges to come off my medication altogether, because I sometimes feel unlike myself, almost like a robot. However they also make me feel better, and in more recent days I have really noticed them working. Often times when people feel this way they feel they can stop taking their medication because they feel like they're fixed. Do not stop taking your medication as soon as you're feeling better. Speak to your doctor first and follow their advice.
Organisation
Organisation can be a really helpful tool to stop you from running away with yourself or getting lost on the road to recovery. It can help you to control the things you can influence in your life, such as; finances, your space, relationships, projects etc. If you can take the time to work on your organisational skills you'll reap the benefits of this by feeling on top of things and feeling more relaxed in general. Start small, by gaining control of your space. Make your space your own, make it tidy and clear to replicate how you want your mind to be. Over time you can develop this by organising your time with others, making sure you're giving yourself enough time too. Start where you feel comfortable and once you have that under wraps you can start to build on this.
You will have down days
I've had countless wobbles since the start of my recovery, my most recent one being a couple of weeks ago. Every time I have a wobble, I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm starting to learn that this isn't the case. It's easy to forget how far you have come when you have a setback. Try to think about what's changed in how you handle it. How long does the issue last as opposed to how long it used to? Give yourself credit for your resilience and willingness to address the problem. Regardless of whether it feels like you're taking steps back in your recovery, know that you're still taking steps forward you're just learning more.
Therapy
Therapy changed my life. I undertook 20 hours of CBASP therapy (Cognitive Behavioural Analysis System of Psychotherapy) and it was the best thing I've done in my recovery so far, and the thing that helped the most. Having a safe place to express my feelings was something that took some getting used to, but once I settled into that environment my ability to tolerate stressful situations and manage my own emotions skyrocketed. My relationships, in all areas of my life, have developed and I learned so much.
Therapy can sound daunting, sitting in front of a stranger talking about your feelings, opening up old wounds, but it can honestly be life-changing with the right therapist for you and is so worth it.
Create a safe haven
Creating a safe place for you to go to when things get tough is really important. My safe haven is the place I go when I need to ride out any negative feelings/thoughts. I created my safe place to help me feel contained when I'm in crisis and it works really well. My safe haven is compiled of the following;
a tidy space
fairy lights
a scented candle
a room spray
a diffuser
a tv/playstation
books
For your safe haven, think of things that soothe you or can lift your mood. Create something that is easy to replicate when you're not at home. Your safe place can be anything you want and should be made to make you feel good.
Always remember, you're not on your own on your road to recovery. You've got this.
Thank you so much for being here. Please feel free to follow me on Instagram (@_thebword__) or get in touch via the contact form below.
Lots of love,
Tilly x
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30 am to 4 pm)
Website: www.rethink.org
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk
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